Your meetings might be too polite.
Most of us were taught to be polite, respectful, and not rock the boat. And it might be creating faux collaboration on your team.
Some of the most fragmented teams I’ve seen have the most polite meetings. On the surface, everything looks fine:
- Everyone is respectful.
- No one interrupts.
- People nod.
- Updates are shared.
The meeting ends.
And then the real conversation happens: in the hallway, in a side conversation, in a follow-up call.
I’m not suggesting we stop being respectful or start being rude. I’m saying politeness can hide fragmentation. Because fragmentation rarely shows up as conflict. It shows up as what people don’t say.
- They don’t say they disagree.
- They don’t say what they really think.
- They don’t say something isn’t working.
This fractures culture instead of creating true collaboration.
This doesn’t fix itself. It’s the leader’s responsibility to create an environment where disagreement, debate, and speaking up are expected.
Try one of these:
- Before moving on, go around the table and ask each person for their view. No interruptions.
- Ask everyone to write down their concerns, then have each person read theirs out loud.
- Say, “We need a dissenting opinion,” and ask someone to challenge the thinking.
Most importantly, when someone speaks up, respond with gratitude and curiosity:
“Thank you.”
“Tell me more.”
If you don’t, you won’t hear it again.
This is how teams move from polite coordination to Uncommon Collaboration—where clarity increases, decisions improve, and momentum builds as a team.
