At some point, someone is going to drop the ball, maybe even more than once.
So you stop trusting their judgment. You double-check their work, give them less responsibility, and start expecting less.
Some of that may be 100% appropriate, but there is another question to consider:
What would this person actually have to do for me to believe in them again?
While I can’t tell you exactly what the answer is, I can give you three principles to consider:
- Losing confidence can be legitimate.
I am a big proponent of believing in another person and seeing more in them. But belief isn’t pretending that everything is fine.
Poor behavior, failure to meet expectations, or a pattern of poor behavior needs to be addressed. Start with curiosity about what’s really happening, then move to clear expectations and consequences when needed.
We can believe in people while holding them accountable to the standard.
- Accountability needs a path forward.
What specifically would they need to do to rebuild your confidence?
Get real specific about the actions and behaviors they need to demonstrate to regain your confidence. Both for your own sake, so you have objective measurement, and for their sake, so they have clarity.
If someone can never do enough to change your view of them, you’re no longer evaluating their performance. You’re protecting your conclusion.
- Be willing to change your mind.
Once they’ve done what you asked and fulfilled their responsibility, you have a responsibility as the leader too. Sometimes the person has changed, but we haven’t changed our story about the person. And we let the past run the future.
Ask yourself whether you’re responding to what’s happening now or what was happening before.
Regaining confidence is a two-person process.
We owe people the truth about what needs to change. We also owe them a genuine path back.
