There are moments when a leader, colleague, or direct report says something that doesn’t come out quite right.
Examples:
- Someone speaks up in a meeting with an unpopular opinion.
- A leader finally says what needs to be said, and it comes out a little sideways.
- A colleague from another office seemingly steps on your toes.
What happens next is what matters.
Here’s what usually happens:
- Someone gets defensive
- Someone shuts down
- The team moves on quickly
- The real issue never gets worked through
There was a conversation that was close… and then it slipped away.
This is where many teams struggle. Not just with saying something real, but with what happens next after that.
The antidote? Grace.
Grace is the ability to stay in the conversation without punishing how it was said.
It says, “That didn’t come out perfectly,” or “That doesn’t seem quite right, but let’s stay with it.”
Here are some things we could say in the moment:
- “Say more about that”
- “I don’t think that came out how you meant it, can you try again?”
- “There’s something important in there, let’s not lose it”
- “Let’s stay with this for a minute”
The hardest part is letting go of our initial reaction, our instant judgment, and everything the past is telling us in that moment.
If teams don’t practice Grace, they stop staying in the conversation. And when that happens, the conversations that move things forward never get finished.
Uncommon Collaboration is not about having more conversations. It’s about finishing the ones that matter.
